Billy the Kidney 2nd Kidneyversary (September, 2013)

Two years ago today I was in a hospital recovery room at Intermountain Medical Center.  Billy the Kidney had been moved to his new home… Johnny Maw’s pelvis.  During the first year after the surgery, hardly a day went by that I didn’t think about it and how John was doing.  The weird thing about this last year is that hardly a day goes by that I do think about it.  I still think about how John is doing, but even then, things have gone so well that I don’t worry about it like I used to.

This morning I finished listening to Brene Brown’s Ted Talk “Daring Greatly”.  This could not have come at a better time.  The name references Theodore Roosevelts Man in the Arena speech.  For those that aren’t familiar with it, here it is.

“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.”

I feel like donating a kidney is an example of daring greatly.  Making the decision to get married or have children is another example of daring greatly.  Eric has dared greatly with his faith in Achiva.  For those of you that know John he dares greatly all the time.  From Vespas to coffee table books; that kid knows how to dare greatly.  Everyone finds ways to dare greatly in their own way.  If they didn’t, the world would be a very boring place.

I have embraced the donor advocate role.  I am a member of the MOD Squad (Mother’s for Organ Donation) and I am a volunteer with Intermountain Donor Services.  One of the coolest things that I have been involved in is the documentary, “Social Media Stole My Kidney”.  I was lucky enough to be one of 12 donors that Amy Donohue chose to interview during her 23 day journey across the country.  We had so much fun filming our segment.  They even got footage of John riding off down my street on his Vespa; super cool.  I feel like Amy and I are kindred spirits and were very surprised by how much we have in common.  Hopefully it will be picked up by Sundance. 🙂  If you know anyone, put a bug in their ear about it.

Even though I have dared greatly during the kidney donation process I don’t want that to be my one thing in life.  I have come to realize that I haven’t dared greatly in the last year the way that I would like to.  I have gotten out of shape; which has made feel so shameful that I don’t want to participate in events that I usually love (triathlon, bike rides and runs).  In our business we spend so much time around athletes that it is hard not to compare yourself to them and think, “Well I will never be as good as them so why even try.”  It has become a downward spiral.

I have signed up to run Ragnar Napa which takes place in two weeks.  I keep thinking, “Should I go?    Should I find someone to run in my place?”  I don’t want to let the team down.  This morning I decided that this thinking is bullshit.  I am going to dare greatly again.  Besides Ragnar Napa, I am going to run another marathon this coming year, I am going to ride my first century and I will do another Olympic Tri.  I am going to take my health back.

Next year I plan on commemorating the third anniversary by celebrating accomplishments and dreams come true.  I hope that you too choose to dare greatly.

Thanks for listening to another one of my diatribes,

Tori

PS Nameste and love one another!